A Baseline To Being
What is your general mood / outlook? Are you the kind of person you want to be? Would you choose to be friends with you?
So much emphasis is placed on doing that being is often neglected. At Being Better we believe that sort out the being and the rest will follow.
I was chatting with a Psychotherapist friend of mine who specialises in overcoming trauma, she was talking about the importance of posture and assuming a stance which not only projects confidence but instils it. I was reflecting on working as a trainer many years ago and being consumed with anxiety prior to delivering a session. I overcame this by saying to myself, “Tonight Matthew, I’m going to be a trainer!” just before walking into the room. Remember, Stars in your Eyes, where people were transformed from Chefs to Cher! Sometimes it’s that simple, “fake it to make it.”
I am a practitioner of NLP and of the law of attraction. In a nutshell and I’m doing it a great disservice, is that the energy and thoughts you put out into the universe, you get back. I believe we give far too much power and weight by focusing on negative thoughts instead of channelling our energies and beliefs into what we desire.
I have several decks of wellbeing and law of attraction cards that I begin my day with. We all get bogged down or distracted and need reminding. I often provide decks of these cards for clients at Being Better. 2 minutes at the beginning of your day sets the tone for the day. You are in charge, you decide what your day is going to feel like.
One of the pitfalls of being a therapist is the need to look beyond and beneath someone’s behaviour. In other words when presented with unacceptable behaviour we tend to consider what someone may be feeling, thinking and experiencing. What becomes tricky about this is the propensity to excuse and justify negative behaviours. I feel it’s important to look beyond presenting behaviours but to allow them to continue could be harmful to yourself.
We can only control how we behave, not others. Also it is not our responsibility to police the behaviours of others. We can model behaviour we want to see in others but cannot enforce it.
Refusal skills, don’t be afraid to say no.
Avoid engaging in negative exchanges, close it down.
At the beginning of the day read inspirational quotes, practice yoga, mindfulness or meditation.
Decide what kind of day you are going to have.
Surround yourself with positive energy and like minded people.
Be kind, patient and tolerant.
Remind yourself of your qualities and areas for growth.
Learn from bad decisions and avoid repeating behaviours.
Live in the moment, rather than becoming sad about the past or anxious about what lies ahead.
Nurture yourself before others.
Have healthy boundaries.
Visualise what you desire daily.
Listen to yourself, consider your instincts when making decisions.
Decide what kind of person you want to be and be that person!